Last night, my sister called me up and informed in a horrified voice that she was stuck in a jam while returning home. She had taken a public vehicle and it was already around 8 o’clock in the evening. We were never worried like that before. To our relief, she reached home safely after sometime.
Today, this kind of fear is not new in many families due to the rape cases in Nepal and elsewhere constantly making headlines.
Rape is not external to our society; rapists don’t constitute a different section in our society. They are very much a part of our patriarchal society where women have been dominated in almost all sectors. We live in a society where what women wear and who she hangs out with are held accountable for rape. The rapists are always given a clean chit, and people always find a fault in the ‘character’ of the raped women. “She provoked the rapists,” they will say.
Out of the many rape cases that made headlines in recent times, the most dreadful one was the Delhi gang rape in India where a female physiotherapy student was beaten and gang-raped by six men. Later, the victim died while undergoing treatment in Singapore.
In a similar incident, a migrant worker was raped brutally by a policeman in Kathmandu. She was returning home from Saudi Arabia. Immigration officials kept her in detention overnight on the charge of her fake passport. It is reported that one of the immigration officials took her to a motel where she was robbed and raped repeatedly.
The victim gathered enough courage to file a case against it. Public uproar began in social media demanding harsh punishment for the culprit. A campaign named “Occupy Baluwatar” was launched to pressurize the government. After that, several reports of cases where women were burnt, raped and assaulted came into limelight.
Unfortunately, in spite of the national uproar against rape in the country, many parents still prefer to kill their daughters than fight for their justice. They value their social prestige more than the self-esteem of their daughters. Sometimes, this fear leads the victims to commit suicide while their rapists remain free and unpunished. There are many cases where women are assaulted repeatedly but they go unreported due to fear.
On the other hand, public transport is one of the places where sexual assaults frequently take place. Once, I was traveling in a public vehicle where there was a young girl wearing a skirt, probably her college uniform, seated next to a man in his 40s. I could notice that the man was constantly staring at the girl’s legs. It was a really disgusting look, and in a way, he was raping the girl through his eyes. After sometime, he slowly raised his hands to touch the girl. But the girl understood what was going on, so she quickly stood up and raised her voice. When other passengers protested, the man got off from the bus.
Similarly, marital rapes are rampant. Research reveals that victims of marital/partner rape suffer longer-lasting traumas than victims of rape by strangers. A friend recently shared with me that her husband wants to have sex with her even when she is not well. He threatens her to leave her if she refuses. She told me that she can neither leave him due to the fear of social prestige nor can she live happily with him. “I can only compromise,” she told me.
I don’t know why people don’t understand that every human being has equal rights. Like I mentioned earlier, some people even argue that women should stop wearing dresses that ‘sexually provoke’ men. Some states in India even proposed to ban skirts.
But the problem is not in a girl’s dress or her lifestyle, but in attitude. Everyone has the right to choose their way of living, and women are no exceptions. I believe that while the government should enforce strong laws to punish assaulters, women should also be bold enough to raise their voice. Otherwise, these kinds of violence will go on increasing. Whether he is your husband, boyfriend or anyone, but if you feel you are assaulted, don’t remain silent but protest. I don’t think this will stop such crimes altogether but this will definitely help reduce such offences.
And parents, don’t teach your daughters to cover up, just teach your sons not to rape. This is your duty.
Today, this kind of fear is not new in many families due to the rape cases in Nepal and elsewhere constantly making headlines.
Rape is not external to our society; rapists don’t constitute a different section in our society. They are very much a part of our patriarchal society where women have been dominated in almost all sectors. We live in a society where what women wear and who she hangs out with are held accountable for rape. The rapists are always given a clean chit, and people always find a fault in the ‘character’ of the raped women. “She provoked the rapists,” they will say.
Out of the many rape cases that made headlines in recent times, the most dreadful one was the Delhi gang rape in India where a female physiotherapy student was beaten and gang-raped by six men. Later, the victim died while undergoing treatment in Singapore.
In a similar incident, a migrant worker was raped brutally by a policeman in Kathmandu. She was returning home from Saudi Arabia. Immigration officials kept her in detention overnight on the charge of her fake passport. It is reported that one of the immigration officials took her to a motel where she was robbed and raped repeatedly.
The victim gathered enough courage to file a case against it. Public uproar began in social media demanding harsh punishment for the culprit. A campaign named “Occupy Baluwatar” was launched to pressurize the government. After that, several reports of cases where women were burnt, raped and assaulted came into limelight.
Unfortunately, in spite of the national uproar against rape in the country, many parents still prefer to kill their daughters than fight for their justice. They value their social prestige more than the self-esteem of their daughters. Sometimes, this fear leads the victims to commit suicide while their rapists remain free and unpunished. There are many cases where women are assaulted repeatedly but they go unreported due to fear.
On the other hand, public transport is one of the places where sexual assaults frequently take place. Once, I was traveling in a public vehicle where there was a young girl wearing a skirt, probably her college uniform, seated next to a man in his 40s. I could notice that the man was constantly staring at the girl’s legs. It was a really disgusting look, and in a way, he was raping the girl through his eyes. After sometime, he slowly raised his hands to touch the girl. But the girl understood what was going on, so she quickly stood up and raised her voice. When other passengers protested, the man got off from the bus.
Similarly, marital rapes are rampant. Research reveals that victims of marital/partner rape suffer longer-lasting traumas than victims of rape by strangers. A friend recently shared with me that her husband wants to have sex with her even when she is not well. He threatens her to leave her if she refuses. She told me that she can neither leave him due to the fear of social prestige nor can she live happily with him. “I can only compromise,” she told me.
I don’t know why people don’t understand that every human being has equal rights. Like I mentioned earlier, some people even argue that women should stop wearing dresses that ‘sexually provoke’ men. Some states in India even proposed to ban skirts.
But the problem is not in a girl’s dress or her lifestyle, but in attitude. Everyone has the right to choose their way of living, and women are no exceptions. I believe that while the government should enforce strong laws to punish assaulters, women should also be bold enough to raise their voice. Otherwise, these kinds of violence will go on increasing. Whether he is your husband, boyfriend or anyone, but if you feel you are assaulted, don’t remain silent but protest. I don’t think this will stop such crimes altogether but this will definitely help reduce such offences.
And parents, don’t teach your daughters to cover up, just teach your sons not to rape. This is your duty.
